Life

It has been a few days since my last post and I have determined that life is a very busy things. Add 3 kids to the mix and you start to turn gray...or do I take after my pop? I would like to think I get my stunning good lucks from my pop and like he always says, "I wish God made me rich instead of so good looking".

Heading to mom's for dinner tonight then we will be going through pop's things. Don't know how the emotions will hold up so we will see. I t should be interesting because if I know my pop, he always had a "junk" stash in his dresser. No telling what we are going to find.

I am stealing from the man right now and need to get back to work. Everyone have a great Derby weekend.

In his hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind. Job 12:10

Not too bad

Well today was a ton better than yesterday but still not nearly perfect, nor will it be. On the way home "I Will Rise" came on the radio and pop came to mind...that song will always be pop's song from now on. If you have not heard the song you are really missing out but I will hook you all up, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yvfso4Q8xg.

I hope I sleep a little better tonight...waking up way too early.

As someone once said, short, sweet and too the point it the best approach...until tomorrow.

Be exalted, O God, above the heavens, and let your glory be over all the earth. Psalm 108:5

Just another Monday

This morning was the earliest I have been up in the past week...boy what a struggle. After waking the family, out the door I went. Was in no hurry to get there and timed the drive perfect with a 7:56am arrival time. Got to my office and the rest of the day was a blur. Co-workers stopped by to asked questions but all I heard was blah...blah...blah...tomorrow...blah...blah...blah. Hope I remember what happens tomorrow, but then again why?

My internal clock told me it was time to head to the house and it didn't matter that my clock is 5 minutes fast. Stopped by mom's to pick up some of the best banana pudding I have ever eaten, next to Uncle Puddin's...sorry Wayne, you are stuck with that name. Also invited mom to join Lea, the kids and I for dinner in the near future after Derby weekend.

For the most part today wasn't a bad day but I could think of 1000 places I would rather...one of them being Vostok, Antarctica. Each day will get better and easier. Until tomorrow...Good Night.

He had a dream in which he saw a stairway resting on the earth, with its top reaching to heaven, and the angels of God were ascending and descending on it. Genesis 28:12

Not so Sunny Sunday

The family and I got to go to church today and it was great worshiping the Lord. It seemed that every song that was sung and verse that was read in some way reminded me of pop. There were times that I had to fight back a tear every now and again. Missing pop more and more each day but the reality of him being gone still has not sunk in completely.

Tonight is going to be a short post as I am heading to bed because Monday is going to be a long day. By the grace of God, I will make it through. Good night world...good night pop.

The length of our days is seventy years - or eighty, if we have the strength; yet their span is but trouble and sorrow, for they quickly pass, and we fly away. Psalm 90:10

Rain...Rain...Rain

Woke up this morning thinking about pop as we were planning on heading to Rest Haven. The weather had other plans. Ashton made it through his soccer game with a 4 -1 victory. He didn't have any goals but he did have 2 assists and I feel that is just as good as a goal. He made dad very proud today.

The passing of my father has really made me look at things slightly different. One thing I am going to try to do everyday is let my kids know how proud I am of them. Just lift them up every single day. When I told Ashton that I was very proud how he played today, you could just see the glow shining from his smile.

Thanks to Justin and Jessica Cook on bringing over dinner tonight. It was really good and the dessert was just unbelievable. I can understand why Justin said that Jessica counted them so Justin wouldn't eat one on the way over. Thanks guys for thinking of us.

If the weather holds off tomorrow we will be heading out to visit pop's grave site after lunch at mom's. I just know that it will be another step to getting through this rough time in my life. Thank everyone for the prayers through this time.

Going through the motions

Slept in today but didn't realize how tired I was until I looked at the clock. Boy did my body and mind need the rest. Did a few things around the house and then headed to mom's. Don't know if I am going to get used to just saying mom's. Didn't do too much just hung out with mom and talked a little but it was good for both of us. The kids were outside playing with Cassidy came in to say that Ashton was calling her names. After talking with Cassidy about name calling will not do anything but hurt her feelings and that is why Ashton does it. Then it was time to talk to Ashton. Ashton, as any 7 year old boys, said he didn't do anything. What I said next made him tear up a little. I said who knows when you are not telling the truth. He looked down and said Jesus. I said there is one more person in heaven that knows. He looked up and said gramps does.

Back to the house to knock out a little more things. Very little has gotten done around the house for the past few weeks so trying to play catch-up. It is slow going but going. After about 2 hours of cleaning, back to mom's for dinner. It was tacos and I love her tacos. It was weird sitting around the table all together without pop but that is just one of many things that we will have to adjust to. Another will be when we have to go through his things. Not sure when any of us will be ready to do this but it needs to be done.

Tomorrow we have soccer then a trip to Rest Haven to visit pop. Hope it is not raining as we are going to eat a few White Castles in his honer. I figure that if each of us eat about 4, then that will total the amount that pop would eat. Boy do I miss that man.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

Love you pop

Today is a day that I will never forget...we buried my pop today. What a good man, correction...what a great man he was. As a few said today, if you needed something all you had to do was ask Stan.

It still amazes me how he went from from a loving father and a loving husband to an angel of the Lord. It all happened so fast, 7 weeks to be exact. March 9th we found out about the cancer and April 19 he left his earthly home for his heavenly home. I think to myself and say only 7 weeks, really? That is only 41 days, a month and half, why so fast. Then it hits me, what some people would give to have 7 weeks with their loved ones. I can't look at the 7 weeks a negative but as a positive...a blessing. We still had time to laugh and cry with pop. We were able to celebrate his 66th birthday with 130+ of family and friends. The 7 weeks were truly a gift from God as he had no pain at all and that was also a blessing.

The funeral service was just amazing. The amount of friends and family was just crazy. My pastor told me he had to part down the street and walk to the funeral home. The songs were perfect, the testimonies were funny and sad but what stands out to me is how Tom LaHue shared the one and only way to accept God's gift for eternal life. Pop was smiling down on us as he knew that it touch at least one person's heart to admit, believe and commit. Thanks Tom for the great service. After all the family and friends said their final goodbyes I got to say a little goodbye and I stayed until the casket was closed. Not something that many people get to see so I will hold that special in my heart, thanks Mark.

The dinner was held at the First Baptist Church and a special thanks to all the people involved to make that happen. I know mom will agree, but I would not have been able to get through this without my loving wife and my church family, so a special thanks to you. When my aunt G and uncle Edgar were leaving I hugged them both and was given the best compliment of my life. While hugging my aunt G, she told me that she knows that pop was so proud of me as I have grown up to be a great man, father, husband and love the Lord. What more could a son ask for?

I am not got to drag this out any longer as it is after midnight so I will sum this day up in one word...Godly.

In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. John 14:2

WOW!

I am titling this one WOW! because of so much love and support my family has. Today's turn out for pop's visitation was just overwhelming, that it was hard to believe.

Walking into the funeral home I wasn't for sure how I would handle the situation. I couldn't swallow as the lump in my throat was to big. The first thing I noticed was pop's white hair, it seems brighter than before but I then I remembered he is now one of God's angels. Why wouldn't be bright? I placed the letters from the kids in with pop, Ashton said that he could read them in heaven, as my eyes filled with tears. Just seeing him laying there was...well...I can't explain but if you have been in the situation you understand what I am talking about.

The friends and family starting arriving and the hugs and "I'm sorry" started spilling out. The next thing I knew I had hugged about 300+ people and found myself at the back of the funeral home. It seems that every time you see someone you know you take a step toward them and after 300+ steps, one would be at the other end of the building. As I started this post, the turn out was just mind blowing. It just proves that pop, AKA gramps, was loved by any and all that knew him.

Thank you to any and all that visited today. If it wasn't for you, today could have been unbearable. But I need to thank someone that has been with me through all of this and that person is Lea. She has been my rock, my support through all of this. With out her I really do not feel I would make it. Thank you Lea, I love you with all my heart and soul.


Be merciful to me, O LORD, for I am in distress; my eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and my body with grief. Psalm 31:9

Still Can't Believe

Woke up this morning to a heavy heart and some tired eyes. Seemed to just go through the motions for the first few hours of the day. If I didn't see it with my own eyes, I would say it was all a bad dream. We didn't want to disrupt the kid's day to much so we sent them all to school today, then did some running. It helped to keep their minds on something else.

Tomorrow is going to be a long, long day. Praying for Jesus to give me the strength to make it through, knowing he will not give me anymore than I can handle. I know there will be tons of support there for the family, so thank you in advance.

A special thanks to my friends at FBC. We received a phone call saying that the CLC is ours for after the funeral if we wanted to use it. It is little things that this, emails, phone calls and FB posts that shows how much support we have. God bless you all.

He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. he who was seated on the throne said, "I am making everything new!" Then he said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true." Revelation 21:4-5

Sorrow Praise

At 6:47pm, we told my father that that we would see him in heaven and we will be okay. Nothing can prepare you for something like this. The pain of loosing a loved one but joy knowing they will be spending eternity with our Lord savior Jesus Christ.

A special thanks to everyone that came to the house tonight. The love and support was just amazing. We truly have great family and friends. I would also like to send out thanks to all my Facebook friends that sent prayers in our time of need.

I mentioned that explaining my father's condition to Cassidy and Ashton was rough, well that is second to explaining to them that their gramps went to see Jesus was heart breaking. The kids were upset but seemed to settle in...so I thought. We got home and the kids were so tired and when I got Ashton into bed he just couldn't handle it any longer. As I was talking with him, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and just said, "Sorry daddy".

The rest of the week will be rough but I know pop will be looking down on us and giving us the strength we need to get through it. Dad, I love you and miss you so much. Thank you for dedicating yourself to me and our family. You are the reason for who I am today...the reason I put Jesus Christ first in my life and why I share Jesus with my children.

The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever. Psalm 23

Truly Amazing

It is about 12:50am and I have been sitting here watching pop sleep for the past 2 hours and I all can think if is what a great man/father he is. How much he has given up for my family and how he puts everyone in front of him.

When you are young living in your parents home, you don't understand why your parents do what they do. All you know is you are always right and they never understand. You get upset when you can't go out with your friends and you feel like they are the worst parents in the world. Then you move out on your own, maybe get married and have your own family and you never think back on the times you might have hurt their feelings because you didn't get your way.

Sitting here gave me plenty time to think about my childhood and the stupid things I did or said. All I can say is WOW...I was such an idiot sometimes and didn't care about anyone other than myself. So as soon as I finish this post, I will being telling my father how right he was about almost everything...except I knew I could get there in 2 with my 5 wood.

Life is short people and it took me going through this to realize how short. I need to love a little more and complain a lot less. Remember...nothing is as bad as it seems.

For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 6:23

Tired But Ready

Got another call from mom last night around 9:30pm shot over to their house. Pop wasn't very alert and breathing continues to slow. Hospice nurse came by around about 11:30pm last night to check him out. She says that his lungs are clear but his heart is working way too hard. She also gave us some signs of the end is near so we will know what to expect what that time comes.

Once our minds were temporary put at ease and the nurse had left, it was time to tell funny stories...and with my family there are plenty is anyone needs to borrow some. By this time the time was pushing 3:00am when mom told the funniest story I have ever heard in my life. It was about my aunt cooked for my uncle for the first time. He tells the story about she made him fried chicken, green beans, mashed potatoes and gravy. He said the gravy was thick and the potatoes were runny. He piled up the gravy on his plate, made a little pond in the middle and then pored the mashed potatoes into the gravy pond he just created.

I share this story because it is a great memory and memories will stay with you for all your life. Make memories with your loved ones as you never know when that is all you will have of them. I know when my father goes to meet our Lord, my family will have a ton of memories so share and rejoice his life. It is going to be a said but happy day as I know my pop will be going to heaven. I love you pop.

But may the righteous be glad and rejoice before God; may they be happy and joyful. Psalm 68:3

Not So Thunder, Thunder

Day started off with soccer. Ashton's team got shut out today by a much better team but they gave 100% and that is all I can ask for. Win or loose, if they have fun and learned something, it was a good game. Thanks to Grandma, AKA mother-in-law, for picking up the kids at the soccer field so that Lea and I could go to the funeral home with mom, Stanley and Martha.

I just wanted to start this portion off with a huge thank you to Mark Schmid. He treated my mom like she was part of his family and not like a business transaction. For that I am truly thankful. All day I have been dreading this. Having to pick out the casket, filling out all the paperwork...something no one thinks of until they are put into the situation. But again Mark made it so easy.

The situation we are going through with my dad makes you take a good hard look at your life and ask some hard questions. I will be making a "Blue" folder, tonight, so that if anything should happen to Lea or myself all the needed paper work can be found. It is really depressing basically planning for your death before it happens but in the long run, I need to take care of my family...dead or alive.

This, then, is how you should pray: " 'Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. Matthew 6:9-11

What to say...

Spent the day with mom and pop today. Helped around the house a little. The kids can now come in and out the utility room door but realized that utility room needs a new sub-floor. That is going to be a summer project.

Dad slept most of the day but I would too knowing that he was up for about 12-14 hours. Just breaks my heart to know that he is in this situation and there isn't anything I can to to help him. Not a real change from yesterday, still real shallow breathing and having trouble swallowing.

Meeting the family at the funeral home tomorrow to get the arrangements taken care of so we don't have to worry about it when the time comes. It will be rough, but will be for the best for everyone.

Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26

Rough Evening...Rough Morning

On the way home from church last night, we passed by my mom and dad's house. Ashton asked if gramps would ever get better. When I told him he wouldn't, Ashton asked if he would be sick until he goes to heaven? I told him yes. Because of all the questions, I sat Cassidy and Ashton down and explained what was going on. I knew it was going to be hard but I didn't think it would be that hard.

Got a call around 3:00am this morning saying I needed to get to my mom and dad's. That is not the wake-up call anyone wants. Pop was having a real hard time breathing and I honestly did not think he would make much longer. We all said our goodbyes to him but he is a fighter and he decided that he was not ready to go. His breathing got better and was able to drink a little something.

From now on, when someone says that I a stubborn, I am going to say thank you because I know I get that from my father...that and my good looks.

Grace, mercy and peace from God the Father and from Jesus Christ, the Father's Son, will be with us in truth and love. 2 John 1:3

Just A Matter Of Time

Well the social worker and nurse stopped by to see how my dad was doing. His breathing is getting worse ever day. They told my mom that it was just a matter of time and est. about 2 weeks, depending how long his body can hold on. Some of you know what I am talking about when I say that has to be the worse news I have ever received.

Tonight is going to be a rough night as I explain the situation to Cassidy and Ashton. Boy is that going to be rough. I know with God as my savior and Lea by my side we will get through this but man does all of this suck.

I was talking to a friend today about death and how it might be a little easier to deal with knowing your loved one will be walking hand in hand with the Lord in heaven. I hope I never have to be on the other side of this coin.

Weekend Is Over

The past 4 days might have had their ups and downs but wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. The real excitement of the week was Cassidy smashing her finger with a hammer and taking her to the ER to find out that she broke the end. That girl can really swing a hammer.

Got some bricks put down around the side flower bed. When I said got some bricks down, I meant Lea. Have them laying on their corner so they are looking really great. One more bed in the back yard and then on to the fire pit and creek patio. That only leaves putting some grass seed down on the dirt spots in the back yard and a little Scotts on the the front. Spring time brings out many outside projects. Fresh air, bright sun and quality time with the family...really doesn't any better than that.

Went to see Pop today. He didn't look himself and seemed like he just didn't know what was going on. Everyday we are happy to have him with us but know that is another day closer to losing him. Oh how I love that man so very much.

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31

Today with pop

Went and sat with pop today. I really think that the 3 hours I was there, watching and talking golf, was the best 3 hours of the day. Even though my mom and sister called to check on us, somethings will never change, we were doing just fine.

Need to send a special thanks out to my cousin Nathan and his boys for taking care of the yard for mom and pop, it looks so great. It is the little things that mean the most. My cousin has done so much for my mom and pop that I know thank you will never be enough.

Lord, thank you for allowing me to know and love the greatest man that I have personally known.

being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6

Spring Break Week

The day started off great. Tori and I got to sleep in until almost 10 this morning while Lea and Ashton made a trip to the dentist for a filling. Kids got to get their pictures taken today. Some great shots of all 3 of them but Tori did not want to take any 2yr birthday pictures... I will getting them up on Facebook this weekend for the world to see. From there to Toys-R-Us so that the kids could spend their money that was burning a hole in their pocket and then dinner at Aspen Creek.

Went to visit pop this evening and he was taking a great nap when I got there. It really sucks to see what he is going through. You can tell he is getting weaker every week but is staying so positive. I will be going back tomorrow to spend some time with him. Taking Cassidy and Ashton with me. The kids don't know it but I am putting them to work tomorrow. Going to be cleaning up the front yard. They don't know 100% of what is going on but I think they sense something it not right.

who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. 2 Corinthians 1:4

Where to begin

Well I have always wanted to keep some sort of journal about my family and why not share it. The real question will be how long will I be able to keep this up. I was no English major so please don't pick on me for my grammar errors...there will be many. I am all high tech and for me, this will be a great way to keep the out of state family and friends up to speed on what is going on in the Bluegrass state and my life.

As most of you know my dad has cancer and seeing him be so strong for the rest of us is the hardest thing. As he said, "it is what it is and if it brings the family closer together then something good will come out of it". I am trying to be the strong one and have been, knowing that my time for tears will come all too soon. One would think watching my during this situation would be bad but it is not going to be anything compared to when explain the entire situation to Cassidy (9) and Ashton (7). Just thinking about it is making me tear up and wanting me to hug them all so tight.

Went to visit mom and pop yesterday. He seemed in good spirits but that just could because I was there. Talking to mom, she understands what the outcome will be and even though no one wants to think about it, she knows what has to be done. We discussed things that no one even thinks about until they are staring you in the face. The future holds some rough roads ahead for us but with God's love, we will get through it.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11